At the Hospital

Getting to the hospital, we surveyed what we might need inside and wished we hadn't just cleaned out the car. The pavement was hot in socks, and there was a sweaty musk in my bike shorts and gear. The phone call came right as the group ride back was starting on bike-to-work Monday. Cleats were tossed aside by the bike and all attention was set to getting to the hospital.

His dad arrived first and was with him in the imaging room getting a CT scan. Grandpa arrived next, hugging my other two children close and then saying a prayer while we waited. Finally, the doors opened and the ER nurse called our family back to the room.

My sweet baby boy writhed in agony. We all stared at him trying to decide who was in more shock, him or us. The only comfort I could provide was consent to treat. He swelled in pain and retreated under narcotic effect. The pain came in ripples and tidal waves.  He would pant or breath hold and we knew it was rough, but he was on top of it. Other times, he would lay back and disappear, floating just above himself, discovering savasana. 

Every move - ice chips, IV, pillow fluff - caused pain. A second scan for head and neck injury meant he had to keep the neck brace in place. This is really painful when your collarbone is shattered. Hours later, they splinted his leg, broken in three places, and sent us home.

Getting to the car was a 6-person effort. Every inch was a trick to see what was possibly mobile, since all of his injuries were to the one side. Eventually, we made it and he dozed off in the late night, never having eaten dinner or allowed to drink water. Getting to the house, he vomited all over his feet, the driveway, and me. 

He was broken apart, but alive. 

Discovery

When H decided to walk, he knew how and took careful precautions and went for the right incentives. He liked to know what was coming, and was a fan of patterns and routines. We would play on the riding toys in the driveway for hours. So many hours, that he was riding two wheels by the age of three. As a teenager, he's rides with a mountain bike team and gets himself to and from school. Same route everyday. He comes home through a park and then down the greenway a short distance. 

Sara called me. Who's Sara? I don't actually know, because we had never met before this call. I was getting on the bike headed for home to pick up my kids. Except she seem to be talking about my kids... 

[Incoming call] Hi yes, I'm Susan. My son? Which one? Who is this again? What did you say? Is he hurt? Can I talk to him? {frantically grabbing coworker to drive me to my child} What hospital are they taking him to? Can you take a picture of his bike so I can know how severe his injuries might be? Thank you Sara, I love you so much right now. I'm coming. Oh hi, yes, I'm his mom. Are you there? Can you hear me? No, he doesn't have any allergies. His name, diagnosis, current meds, yes. Tell him I love him. Thank you. I'll go to the hospital then. 

[text] It's important. Call me immediately.

[Outgoing call] What are you doing right now? Are you parked? There's been an accident, it's H. He was riding his bike home from school. They don't know the extent of his injuries, they're taking him to the hospital. Can you get there? I'm going to get R&T now and I'll meet you there. Where else would I take them? Once they hear he's in the hospital, they're going to want to get there. Yes, we'll figure out. I'll call your dad.

[Incoming call] Hey baby, are you ok? Yes, get in the ambulance with him. Hold his hand. {screams in the background that make me wince} It's ok, I'm coming as fast as I can. Do you want to wait there or go back to the school? {dropping phone sounds and then a new voice} Yes, I'm his mom. I'm coming there right now, about 10 minutes out. Yes, they're brothers, they're my sons. I'm coming as fast I can. 

[Incoming call] Hey sweet girl. Yes, I'm going to pick you up. Listen, something's happened. As soon as I get to the school, be ready. We have to move quickly.

[Outgoing call] Got a sec? I need a favor. Oh, you're driving. Can you pull over? Yea, I know it makes you nervous. Don't worry, I'll wait. Ok, Holden was in an accident. I'm on my way to the hospital, but I need to get R&T first. Can you meet their dad there? I understand you're upset. We are about to walk into a very tense situation and I need you to have a calm head. Yes, you can vent. You didn't hurt my feelings. Yes, meet me at the hospital and we'll figure it out. 

x

[at the scene] Hi, yes, I'm Susan. Can you give me one second and we can finish? {wrap my arms around my second son and feel the relief of a healthy, strong, breathing boy with a brave face} Ok, so where is the van now? Who is Sara? Were there others? Are there skid marks? How fast was she going? Why wouldn't she have stopped then? {wrestling with the bike rack} Here, it goes like this. Oh you have this rack too? Yea we love it. So he usually comes down this greenway path, and then crosses to the curb relief on the other side.  What van was it? Did she brake at all before she hit my son? So you didn't cite her? I need to get to the hospital, can I have the information on the report? Thank you.

In the Quiet in the Dark

I have a confession. Today I rode my bike for the second time in many months. Yes. Only two times in maybe three or four months, and one was last week. Life has thrown me some fast balls and some curve balls, and I'm holding on to keep up with all of the action. I made it - the miles are mine again.

Last week I found myself scared on the way home. I was well-dressed for the weather, and lit up like a rolling Christmas tree with all my lights. I didn't understand my own reaction, except to say we are close to the winter solstice and light is scarce. I was easily startled. Maybe it was because the shadows on a trail move faster than you expect when rolling through the dark.

I did a repeat tonight to test myself. My phone blared music while I bounded through miles of greenway in the night. About the time Bruce Springsteen came on, I caught my groove. The song reminded me of the nights in high school when we would drive out to the swamp with the windows down to listen to the croak of the alligators.

Can't wait for daylight savings to end!

NC HB959 - FOUR Feet Please

As a driver, I don't want to share my lane with anything else. The lane I am traveling in at the time I am traveling is mine. I feel the same way when I'm on a bike. I appreciate it when a driver gives a full pass by taking measures to pass me as if they are overtaking any other vehicle.

Wait for a clear view and passing distance, cross all the way into the other lane, and then cross back into the forward moving lane. 

Gosh this sounds nice. If we use this as a basis for passing, it becomes easier to understand a two column pace line. It's a shorter pass, and it's easier on the athletes. And man, yay. Thanks for being courteous. Well, you can imagine that rarely happens. You can tell when a driver also rides bikes.

A really exciting law change came up in North Carolina. House Bill 959 has granted us a number of safety protections. The first of these laws went into effect on October 1st, and allows drivers to pass bicycles or mopeds in no passing zones with at least 4 feet of clearance. 

The rest of the changes take effect on December 1st, and include a law requiring cyclists to have a rear light (in addition to the already required front light) or wear reflective clothing that is visible from at least 300 feet, the official recognition of the right hand turn signal, and harsher penalties and fines for drivers who cause a cyclist to run off the road, change lanes, or crash.

Are you ready? I'm ready.

A photo posted by @heartspoken.ninja on Mar 8, 2016 at 2:44pm PST

Over the Edge

I signed on with my company in part because of the good they do in the world. The mission and the work have been such a good fit for me. When they said, "who wants to rappel down a building?" I raised my hand. Holy moly, is this what they meant?!

They did mean that. The easy emotion for me was to get excited about it - this is a core part of my personality. Getting geared up? Walking out on to the roof? I was a different person. I was feeble. I let the guides do their work. I was the body on the rope, but they were kind and patient souls getting me to the ground.

The part that changed me was getting a medal from an Olympiad. He talked about how he likes to play basketball in addition to track and field events. He is the brave one.