Oh the Facebook of it All

An interaction on Facebook has me all worked up this morning. A friend made a complaint, and friends chimed in with shared frustration. The drivers who weren't actually experiencing the interaction were jumping to anger over the reality that bicycles are occupying space on the road. Here's what I'm thinking. I want to resurrect the human status of cyclists by sharing my experience, and also recall the legality of the choice. 

{Did I mention I ride bikes? You guys know this because you're here and probably got here because you know me personally or you ride bikes. Not everyone agrees with my choices, but we can at least civilly disagree.}

When a driver and I disagree about a lane use issue. The exchange is typically punctuated by honking. Sure, that's predictable, but I invite you to an experiment. Try this. Set your 3 year old in the driver seat of your car, obviously not running or in any way powered on. Just set the child in front of the steering wheel's horn button. Now, go stand in front of the car facing the same direction of the vehicle with it behind you. Wait, and then see what happens. 

Often in-motion lane use arguments are much more brutal: A bus driver passes and tips my helmet with the mirror of the bus, nearly spilling me into a rash of poison ivy in the culvert of the road. The mini van mama screams obscenities through an open window while honking and cutting into the lane in front of me to turn right. A one-ton truck driver discards the remnants of a fast food drink, including cup, and then accelerates heavily to leave me in a puff of exhaust. All of these examples have happened to me this year. Everyday I ride my bike, I have an encounter like this.

Please pause and think about the last time you were walking and somebody threw a drink cup at you, screamed obscenities, or just straight up hit you. What was that like for you?

It happens to me every single day that I ride my bike. My humanity wants me to believe this type of interaction isn't normal and doesn't characterize the morality of the individual. I try to lift the interaction out of the well by responding with a super-big smile and wave, "Have a good day!"

(Would you shoot a person who is smiling and waving? It's my only defense on my 20-lb bicycle against a 3,500lb vehicle.)

This is a real fear. Regularly, cyclists are physically assaulted. A driver has pulled a gun on me while riding my bike. I happened to have been pregnant at the time.

People who ride bikes are people. In my case, I'm a mom of three kids. I manage a team of engineers for a major corporation. I also teach yoga for peace, and math to little kids. I pay taxes on my car, my home, and my income. 

When I ride my bike, I am not trying to take anything from you. I'm trying to get to work. When I ride in a peloton, I am not trying to prevent you from using the road. I'm getting a workout. Any delay you experience will likely be short, and I appreciate you waiting until it is safe to pass. 

Gifts

For a variety of reasons, I found myself walking to and from the school a lot today. Part of my story is my son. He is wonderful and challenging. He is as hot as the sun. He's mesmerizing with his brains and beauty, but he can't always keep his emotions between the lines. Bit like his mama.

This morning was a hard one, but then on the way home he found a butterfly. It had died where it flew, and he spotted it perfectly in tact. His brother protected it until we got home. His sister kept the dog from eating it.

Did I mention he had poetry homework? Here is what he wrote...

I am a smart boy who like sharks

I wonder what life will be like for our descendants who will live thousands of years from now

I hear my fan at night

I see a good life ahead with lots of mistakes and successes

I want to have an impact on those around me

I am a smart boy who likes sharks

I pretend that I am well known and revered in the world

I feel powerless when I hear about loss

I touch other people’s lives when I do something for charity

I worry that life will pass me by without me doing anything

I cry when I hear about how much poverty there is in the world

I am a smart boy who likes sharks

I understand that I can’t do something for everything that happens in the world

I say that I can do almost anything if I put my mind to it

I dream that there were a decent life for everybody

I try to make an impact on my peers

I hope that life will get better for everybody

I am a smart boy who likes sharks

Wheels

When I first learned to ride my bike, my brother and I rode loops around my dad's condo parking lot. We timed the laps like a crit race, because it was a really short loop. I can remember sliding out in a sandy spot beside a speed bump leaving road rash on the inside of my elbow, all down my hip, and blood dripping from my knee. We kept riding tho.

Last weekend I saw a boy on the street. This is big news because my son has been without street friends since we moved to the new house. Maybe you don't remember how important street friends are? Trust me. They are important, and I celebrated. Every time the dog barked, I hollered to my son that somebody was on the street. Was it his future street friend? Go! Get your bike! Go see who it is!

The week came and went. The elusive boy on bike was not met. Sunday he asked, "Mom, will you take me down to the new people at that house?"

"What if I make cookies?"

"Then he'll definitely be my friend."

I saw a unicorn!

Maybe you know that my friend and I are doing some Heart Spoken jerseys?

Yesterday morning I was on the phone with Rachel, and I wound up driving on the road that I usually bike on. (Don't be mad. Sometimes I drive a car.)

The coolest thing happened! I SAW ANOTHER FEMALE BIKE COMMUTER! I did what any other giddy driver would do... No, no - I didn't run her off the road - I stopped to give her one of our jerseys.

I hope she wears it and that it protects her, even if for just a moment. We need to stand up for each other. We need to help each other. We need to protect each other, regardless of how we're getting to work in the morning.

What dream shall we live today?

In this moment I'm imagining the next version of me. This is me getting good with me.

It is tough to keep breathing calmly. Lots of things surface with change and growth. Lots of them hurt.

Ben Folds says - I'm going to make the best imitation of myself.

I spent the last 3 days on a pirate ship with my best friend, little guitars, incredible food, crushing laughter, heart break, soft silence, blinding light, and me.

Coming home was jarring. I want to do and see and be! What dream shall we live today?

Must be this tall to ride

My objective is not to "make it" bigger than life. I am happy when people let me do what I do without getting all mad about it. I don't need a slushy to the face, or to have to stop and make way for a faster passing vehicle. I just want to get along with my getting along.

I don't have a smooth segue to this, but I am enjoying a blog, Must Be This Tall To Ride. I don't quit at things and I'm not trying to interrupt the happiness of others. However, I am single. Like this guy, I'm looking at my own mistakes and trying to do better. I just want to get along with my getting along.