I Can Ride my Bike with No Handlebars

My son wanted a nerf gun for Christmas. That's cool and all, but I don't really do nerf guns. Maybe you notice I ride bikes? I decided that what I wanted to give him was a bike. He grows so fast! This week was a whole makeover - new glasses, new haircut, new bike. He was a whole new man.

At first he didn't love the bike I chose. I thought he could still be satisfied with the simple criteria: two wheels plus pedals. My choice was also in a steel frame, disc brakes, and sora components. It was a deal -- and way too big... and maybe not cool enough? Feeling a little depleted in the value of my choice, I took him back to the bike shop. I was pretty convinced he was going to just return it. I don't even know what we bought.  No idea the type of components, and I would have to go down to the garage to recall the brand. While we were there, his love of bikes revived.

He doesn't know it, and please don't tell him so I can still hold out for some additional chores-in-lieu-of-presents, but this was the perfect gift for Christmas. My child is riding bikes with enthusiasm again! Here's us the next morning getting bagels for breakfast.

In the Quiet in the Dark

I have a confession. Today I rode my bike for the second time in many months. Yes. Only two times in maybe three or four months, and one was last week. Life has thrown me some fast balls and some curve balls, and I'm holding on to keep up with all of the action. I made it - the miles are mine again.

Last week I found myself scared on the way home. I was well-dressed for the weather, and lit up like a rolling Christmas tree with all my lights. I didn't understand my own reaction, except to say we are close to the winter solstice and light is scarce. I was easily startled. Maybe it was because the shadows on a trail move faster than you expect when rolling through the dark.

I did a repeat tonight to test myself. My phone blared music while I bounded through miles of greenway in the night. About the time Bruce Springsteen came on, I caught my groove. The song reminded me of the nights in high school when we would drive out to the swamp with the windows down to listen to the croak of the alligators.

Can't wait for daylight savings to end!

Care Bear Stare

The election results were a shock. It baffles the mind. Without indulging the frustration and details, I read comments about want to live by example.

My daughter woke up next to me and I told her, "there's some bad news in the world, but I want you to know it's going to be ok."

She replied, "Trump won, didn't he?"

"Yes, and it's going to be ok. We are going to keep being us. We are going to be even better versions of ourselves. We are going to show love and kindness. We are going to treat people with kindness regardless of how they look or act. We are going to watch and make decisions for ourselves."

"But we've never seen his real skin color!"

"It would hurt if somebody said something like that about me." [I might have had to suppress a smile.]

She understood quickly and was ok with this for a bit. Then she said, "What if he stops letting women work?"

"That's not going to happen" [because he wouldn't want to have to support me without a j-o-b.] "Do you remember your care bear? Do you remember the cartoon show? When the bears were afraid, they joined together and they sent out light from their hearts, and everything was ok."

She was ok with this for a bit too. "We still have the electoral college on December 9."

"That's probably not going to change anything."

And she cried. [gut punch]

Fast forward: Driving home tonight, this beautiful rainbow appeared on top of a pink sky. It appeared to be bright, radiant light erupting from the sunset. I edited up the saturation to match my memory of the moment. This happened about the time I read some words from Hillary. As soon as I got my baby girl in front of me again, I delivered the message.

To all the little girls watching...never doubt that you are valuable and powerful & deserving of every chance & opportunity in the world.

I choose to love. I will choose to do good things. My little girl is forever watchful, hopeful, and worthy. Care Bear Stare.

Surrey Bikes

We went to Disney last week - it was wonderful. We saw wildlife, rode Space Mountain, and hung out by the pool. Far and wide, my favorite part of the weekend was pedaling around on a Surrey Bike. These things are not made for hills, but my boys are getting taller and stronger.

If the neighbors have a pimped out golf cart, I want one of these!

Only Takes a Second

A week back, a friend texted me that he was worried about me biking on the road. He shared a picture of a hit and run accident in my area. He shuts down my life insurance joke. He knows I won't quit, and he just wants me to be safe. Most people don't understand as well. Riding my bike is just part of me. I don't know any other way to be. 

I've gotten more notice from parents at my kids' school lately too. Randomly, I'll hear a honk or see a waving & smiling face pass. It feels good that my friends are so supportive. I text this same friend and let him know about this good experience I just had biking home from brunch wearing high heels.

I try to ignore the story I hear on the news the next morning. I try to pretend it isn't a familiar road. I try not to know that another cyclist has been killed. 

I am the Lorax

Last night I attended a workshop hosted by the RDU authority discussing the potential uses and land designations. The night played out much the way it did when I protested the development of a treed land area in my hometown that is currently covered in an apartment complex. The big developer put on the airs of caring about the tree-hugging contributions of the constituents. The people cited a number of data points demonstrating that they are not actually listening. The meeting was halted by the Communications designee from the airport authority. So, I sit down here to write to you what I feel in my heart... about the way we were treated, about the way of the business, and my sadness about what will be lost. Here are the major takeaways.

The introduction and the bulk of the meeting talked about FAA requirements for noise and a map detailing the sound levels in the area. The speaker tried to paint this as forethought of the authority to examine the needs of the region as required by law.

The Q&A was when Dr. Jean Spooner from the Umstead Coalition stood and asked about the thousands of comments received. She wondered what modifications were made as a result. The speaker responded that the map was updated to include Recreation areas. She clarified that the legend was updated to include 'Office/Hotel/Recreation' instead of just 'Office/Hotel'. The speaker confirmed this was the modification he meant. No other changes have been over the course of four public meetings.

A second audience member asked about the feasibility of eliminating the rock quarry proposal from the drawing. She polled the audience for support of a rock quarry. One individual was in support, the remainder of the room opposed. Later, John Williams explained to me that the map is not a recommendation, but a potential use map.

A third audience member was closer and I could not hear the question. It was clear that the audience felt like their concerns were not getting heard, and wanted a different outcome than the proposal.

At this time, Sig Hutchinson, a Wake County Commissioner, interjected. He cautioned the audience from getting too upset. He encourage the individuals to continue to provide their comments via the appropriate forums, and tried to assuage our fears about the apparent deaf ears of the airport authority.

My personal experience is that I couldn't hear much more. Kristie VanAuken (VP Communications and Community Affairs) stepped in front of me. She said to the person next to her that she was going to stop this and pull the mic. She exited the room, re-entered at the front, and shut the conversation down.

We milled about and tried to make sense of how to have an impact on making a positive choice for our beloved parks. How do you propose to a businessman with the potential income of a hotel at $200 per night over 100 units was less valuable than getting to ride with the 10 and under group on Wednesday afternoons through the pump and jump tracks.

Here are some of the ways I have used this park. Going places in order to avoid cars and driving. I do this a lot, but here are 3 pretty examples.

At a crossroad

Rolling cyclocross near sunset

Getting over I-40

If any of this is meaningful to you, please send some comments to support us. https://vision2040.rdu.com/comments/

Principal

Inevitably - we knew this would happen. The principal asked for a talk. She heard about us because we asked for a safe place to lock my son's bike. We can disregard that she knows me personally in order to emphasize that children should be allowed to ride their bikes to school.

She really told me that we would have to talk about it.

And now I am pouting. I don't want to have a disciplinary talk.  I just want my son to be able to ride his bike home from school. Didn't we recently get some free range parenting protection laws?

NC HB959 - FOUR Feet Please

As a driver, I don't want to share my lane with anything else. The lane I am traveling in at the time I am traveling is mine. I feel the same way when I'm on a bike. I appreciate it when a driver gives a full pass by taking measures to pass me as if they are overtaking any other vehicle.

Wait for a clear view and passing distance, cross all the way into the other lane, and then cross back into the forward moving lane. 

Gosh this sounds nice. If we use this as a basis for passing, it becomes easier to understand a two column pace line. It's a shorter pass, and it's easier on the athletes. And man, yay. Thanks for being courteous. Well, you can imagine that rarely happens. You can tell when a driver also rides bikes.

A really exciting law change came up in North Carolina. House Bill 959 has granted us a number of safety protections. The first of these laws went into effect on October 1st, and allows drivers to pass bicycles or mopeds in no passing zones with at least 4 feet of clearance. 

The rest of the changes take effect on December 1st, and include a law requiring cyclists to have a rear light (in addition to the already required front light) or wear reflective clothing that is visible from at least 300 feet, the official recognition of the right hand turn signal, and harsher penalties and fines for drivers who cause a cyclist to run off the road, change lanes, or crash.

Are you ready? I'm ready.

A photo posted by @heartspoken.ninja on Mar 8, 2016 at 2:44pm PST

Bike to School

The ride to school today has been a long time coming. I thought they would just naturally want to ride their bikes because the freedom is so great. Turns out, getting driven is easier. Traffic as it is, I have been inclined to oblige their whims.

Our new place tho? Totally bike-able. Boy has been asking for an apple watch which I told him (a) he could have if he could keep up with all of his things and (b) he would need to have if he was biking to school all the time.

And so this day happened. Some people look forward to first steps or graduating from kindergarten - this is my proud mama moment. My son biked to school for the first time.

Over the Edge

I signed on with my company in part because of the good they do in the world. The mission and the work have been such a good fit for me. When they said, "who wants to rappel down a building?" I raised my hand. Holy moly, is this what they meant?!

They did mean that. The easy emotion for me was to get excited about it - this is a core part of my personality. Getting geared up? Walking out on to the roof? I was a different person. I was feeble. I let the guides do their work. I was the body on the rope, but they were kind and patient souls getting me to the ground.

The part that changed me was getting a medal from an Olympiad. He talked about how he likes to play basketball in addition to track and field events. He is the brave one.

Ban Fracking y'all

The other night, I did an exercise. In three phases, you describe your dream in full color detail to another person. You actually put a voice to your heart's greatest desire. We repeated the two minute recitation of what happens a year after achieving this dream, and then ten years later. Unsurprisingly, the first session is touched marked with a lot of fear. If it was easy, wouldn't everyone already be doing it? The second phase for me was way less encumbered. It was exploratory and exciting, and I can't wait to get there. In the third session, I described an altered state of my current life. It's a mirror life to the one I lead now, with a different continent and way of life -- but I'm still me. I have the same values. I have the same moral code. And I'm free.

I tell you this, because I can't wait to get to the beginning, middle, and end of all these pieces. I'm so lucky to live my beautiful life. I'm so enamored with my children, my friends, my job, and my daily. I can clearly see all kinds of ways forward from here.

Just delivered my children and parked my fuel-efficient vehicle to hop on the bike. Yesterday started with yoga and a bagel. Living the dream! (My dreams anyway)

Next step: get the children biking to school. 

Next-next step: paddle boards and trailer. 

Next-next-next step: scuba certs for the kids. 

Next-next-next-next step: sailboat. 

Strawberries and Cream

My sister had a sad event and needed for me to keep her kids for a couple days. Let me tell you, I'm elated for the opportunity. My sister's kids are people I want to know. They're smart and friendly and awesome. You know what we did first? Bike fit.

When my nephew begged to ride on the back of the tandem, my heart popped with glee. His sister wanted to ride the Dutchie. We set out for Starbucks. Where they live, you can't ride to very many things. Distance and speed limits make it tough for the elementary/middle school crowd. The novelty of riding to a Place for Something was huge for them. My nephew's glee about riding the tandem was noisy. And then there was the uphill. My sweet niece kept her focus on the venti strawberries and cream. Heading home is more downhill and went way faster.

I just wanted to share the joy of a bike ride.

Challenge Anew

Sometimes we judge people. Sometimes the person I'm judging is me. I had a day that... if I were not me... I might judge.

I hit up a learning session at a dev conference, followed it up with the farmer's market and my son's soccer game. If I had quit there, it wouldn't be enough. I went home via the biodiesel shop that is also a remarkable vintner and organic produce stand. By the time my sister arrived from across the state after her apple-picking adventure, any connection to my tree hugging self was lost to my elitist counterpart.

Guilt has set in. There's an oil spill in Alabama. I have means and ability to do better. These aren't first or third world issues. Alabama has real world / in your face / here because of our wastefulness Issues.

I'm looking at my week, and I hope you will too. Where can you streamline your trips? Can you do more with less? How? Find it. Do it.

Gifts

For a variety of reasons, I found myself walking to and from the school a lot today. Part of my story is my son. He is wonderful and challenging. He is as hot as the sun. He's mesmerizing with his brains and beauty, but he can't always keep his emotions between the lines. Bit like his mama.

This morning was a hard one, but then on the way home he found a butterfly. It had died where it flew, and he spotted it perfectly in tact. His brother protected it until we got home. His sister kept the dog from eating it.

Did I mention he had poetry homework? Here is what he wrote...

I am a smart boy who like sharks

I wonder what life will be like for our descendants who will live thousands of years from now

I hear my fan at night

I see a good life ahead with lots of mistakes and successes

I want to have an impact on those around me

I am a smart boy who likes sharks

I pretend that I am well known and revered in the world

I feel powerless when I hear about loss

I touch other people’s lives when I do something for charity

I worry that life will pass me by without me doing anything

I cry when I hear about how much poverty there is in the world

I am a smart boy who likes sharks

I understand that I can’t do something for everything that happens in the world

I say that I can do almost anything if I put my mind to it

I dream that there were a decent life for everybody

I try to make an impact on my peers

I hope that life will get better for everybody

I am a smart boy who likes sharks

Wheels

When I first learned to ride my bike, my brother and I rode loops around my dad's condo parking lot. We timed the laps like a crit race, because it was a really short loop. I can remember sliding out in a sandy spot beside a speed bump leaving road rash on the inside of my elbow, all down my hip, and blood dripping from my knee. We kept riding tho.

Last weekend I saw a boy on the street. This is big news because my son has been without street friends since we moved to the new house. Maybe you don't remember how important street friends are? Trust me. They are important, and I celebrated. Every time the dog barked, I hollered to my son that somebody was on the street. Was it his future street friend? Go! Get your bike! Go see who it is!

The week came and went. The elusive boy on bike was not met. Sunday he asked, "Mom, will you take me down to the new people at that house?"

"What if I make cookies?"

"Then he'll definitely be my friend."

Bambi the Buck

The deer in this neighborhood are bizarre. There are so many, they're nearly tame. I find them eating the flowers in the front yard in the morning. Not one, not two, but six or seven or nine. When I drive the street, they look up and then carry about their graze. I have a garden with an 8' fence with no vegetation and hoof prints. There's a nuance to this domestication tho. When I bike up the street, they bolt.

This bizarre thing happened on the way home from school the other day. My son (on bike) makes his way up the street first. Between him and child #2, a car is approaching - and Bambi appears. He's spooked and headed full throttle towards the fence. Nothing is going to stop him! (except the fence) The fence stood its ground, and Bambi flipped back into the street. He's fully panic-stricken. He's in a seizure state of fear. His movements are violent and uncontrolled. He's grunting and growling at himself while somersaulting forwards and back.

We step back and watch, hoping he'll get it together and letting him have his space. It takes 45 seconds? a minute?, but he does catch his feet on the ground. The first grip sends him up the street towards us. The single speed tandem is too heavy to try to manipulate into a shield, and I worried. He flipped and fell again. Another 10 seconds of deer terror, and he finds his way the other direction into the woods.

And this is the day I met my new neighbors! I mention this because this really happened. This weird scene is not a metaphor or a moral story. Only Bambi's name was made up. It's a story about a freaked out buck. Oh deer.

Bag Lady

My mother has trained my daughter in the art of putting things in a bag to carry them. My daughter has as many bags and purses as my mother. The humor here is that I have so few. I will go out of my way to not carry a purse that I will leave things I *might* need. If the likelihood of needing the item is less than 100%, there's a good chance I will leave it at home. I try to carry very little baggage. Weekend in south Texas? A purse with a bathing suit, a dress, and sandals is plenty. For everything else, there is retail shopping and shipping.

Something amazing happened on the bus -- AGAIN. Let me set up the logistics a little. My car was at the office. Sometimes I leave it there and bike home.  Enter the drama.

I'm headed to south Texas and I really have only my bathing suit, a dress, and sandals. I'm a little panicked because I tried to drive my car home last night. Mental recall of events tells me that I must have dropped my wallet with my car keys on the bus yesterday morning. I'm headed to work before going to the airport. The bus company is closed so I leave a message. There's nothing more to be done except cancel the cards and replace the keys. Replacing car keys can be really messy (read: expensive). In this particular model, you have to have it towed to a dealership and have a new key programmed. All in, we're looking at ~$1k. GAH. Deep sigh. Mantra, "it's just money."

I'm about to accept my fate, leave my car at the office for the weekend, and fly out when you know what happened? I got a phone call from the bus company. Somebody turned in my wallet. It was light a little cash, but it had the very expensive key and all of my cards.

My love-hate bus pendulum swings back to love.

Summer family photo

I don't know how you spent your day, but this is what I did with mine. I'm sick, so they took it a little easy on me. It was a good day.

Normal day

Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. Let me hold you while I may, for it may not always be so. One day I shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in the pillow, or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky and want, more than all the world, your return.

Mary Jean Irion

Morning commute win!

Still trying to learn the area of my new job. Siri wants me to pedal some big roads while google maps drops me off onto some overgrown grassy area the almost connects to the greenway. The bridge was closed too. And then I found myself here.

Some situational irony: I'm at this spot when I get a text, "where do we go from here?"

Well. Exactly. I am here, and here I find myself.

My People

This is post-Fat adventures. Before this picture the scene was different.

It started when I told my daughter that I was ok with skipping it this year. I wasn't feeling it, didn't want to get out, etc. She was justifiably shocked. This is my favorite event and all. She didn't go crazy or anything, just restated her enthusiasm. That's all it took. You can see one child still wearing his Fred Flinstone tie and baby girl wearing her Betty Rubble get up.  We kind of rocked that Flinstones gig. I was happier for going.

So, when this photo happened, I was totes stoked for reals. Yo.

Bike packing attempt 1: chicken church to shakori. Total success.

Admittedly, I set out later than you should in summer. I wasn't worried. I don't mind heat and I had plenty of water.

Let's roll back a few months. I saw a picture of a road that simply ended with the caption "sink hole". I paid little attention because it was across a lake far from any of my regular routes.

EXCEPT THIS DAY, of course. On this day, I totally found the closed road due to sink hole.

I detoured around the steepest golf course around. On our first really hot day. It was the smallest lateral mileage, but clearly the most climb. I would have known this had apple kept up with the sink holes in america.

I got a little grouchy. A little tired. I called for a pick up.

The ride didn't come through, and I was still suffering. I took a minute. I sat down on the roadside and drank in steady breath and shade. I realized I was shivering and began connecting the dots. I sent a text to my heart spoken ninja who would figure it out from a distance if necessary - "Have heat stroke. GPS pin here."

When my symptoms abated enough, and I got back on the bike. Here began the suffering. It was a mile up the road and around the bend to the grocery story. I zombie'd myself into the store and bumped into the perfect person - a product guy holding a monstrous wedge of watermelon on a stick. The grocery stores here are so cool because they sell odd lawn furniture. In this case, there was a hammock. I laid down in the air conditioned hammock with a couple watermelon popsicles and waited for recovery to find me.

When I set back out, I had a record-breaking 5mph pace including rest. The spot in this picture was a swimming hole. I stopped for ice a few miles later before I saw the shot gun adorned sign "Enter at your own risk."

I slept in a hammock under stars this night after an amazing set of live music. Maybe bad things also happened on this adventure, but I choose to remember showering in a farm shower in the forest and waking up to cold-brewed coffee. Long live Shakori.

Seen today: Fridge and dryer you MUST SEE to believe. Shopping & saving money whilst working out! Winwinwin! #tourdefat #shopping #surlysiciety #multitasking #iliketoridemybicycle #sharetheroad

http://ift.tt/1UncPwY

3 Feet Please

This is Steven. He's cool for lots of reasons, and one of them is his brass commitment to safety. He believes people should be able to ride bikes safely on the road. He and I share this belief.

Notice the 3' pole that points straight left off of his handlebar. This is how far away you need to be to pass a bike safely. Notice that this requires a passing vehicle to enter into the oncoming lane if they wish to pass. This is desirable. I wish to share the road with you, but not my lane. I'm in it. I'm going to go ahead and use it.

Making a picture happen. #tourdecure #nctourdecure2016 #tourdefat #iliketoridemybicycle #bikephoto

http://ift.tt/1Te3QSP

This is awful news. We have to find a way to protect ourselves. Nobody wants this. #tourdefat #surlysociety #bikecommuter

http://ift.tt/1scWVPY

She'll tell you she doesn't like bikes. It's ok if I know better. #babygirl #tourdefat #littlegirlsruletheworld #iliketoridemybicycle #hiltonhead

http://ift.tt/1UkoZLS

Rising Above

This is such a happy sight for me. Not because it is a happy picture, but because I'm not involved in it. My detachment from the feeling of trapped inside a vehicle was glorious as I biked across the bridge. 

The Velveteen Rabbit

{ALERT: this post has nothing to do with bikes, except that bikes are life.}

It takes a long time to wear down the sharp edges, and a lot of courage not to break. I might have broken a bit, and my edges aren't all smooth and soft. The skin horse also says you don't mind if things hurt when your Real. Apparently I'm still a work in progress.

My friend was in the hospital last week. She got really, really sick. I hope she doesn't go burn everything down, because she's Real to me. You can't depend on everyone or everything, but I can depend on her.

Tour de Brew

I really wanted to ride my bike. This rain did not stop me.

I want to shout out to my friends Alan W. and Paige J.S. for supporting me on this fun, rainy Tour de Brew! Thank you! Water for Good! (also, beer and bicycles)

Pollen season

I took a cup of coffee with me as I left the house. Sip, pedal, sigh. So happy.

A mile later, I pour out a little dribble from the top to clear a small amount of pollen that collected on the lid. Whatever. Sip, pedal, sigh. So happy.

The second time I went for a sip, I had to actually lose some coffee. Hm. Ok. Sip, pedal, sigh. Happy.

I'm not the squirmish type. I don't really mind pollen, except that it irritates my eyes in the wind. Sunglasses help. When I had to quit drinking my coffee because there was a coffee-pollen paste in the lid, I used some foul language. Unacceptable!

Shadows

I love how the road lights up with glitter at certain times of day. It's also pretty amazing the things you can make on your cell phone.

First day of spring was a good one!

Greenway ride

I saw a unicorn!

Maybe you know that my friend and I are doing some Heart Spoken jerseys?

Yesterday morning I was on the phone with Rachel, and I wound up driving on the road that I usually bike on. (Don't be mad. Sometimes I drive a car.)

The coolest thing happened! I SAW ANOTHER FEMALE BIKE COMMUTER! I did what any other giddy driver would do... No, no - I didn't run her off the road - I stopped to give her one of our jerseys.

I hope she wears it and that it protects her, even if for just a moment. We need to stand up for each other. We need to help each other. We need to protect each other, regardless of how we're getting to work in the morning.

Cause I'm #reflective like that

Picked up a great new reflective Sugoi jacket in the REI sale. Very happy about this.

Can we take a minute to enjoy that I took my morning conference call from the sunny side of this tree?

The timing wasn't quite going to work for me, so I made sure to charge my phone. To my mind, this moment was a marvel. I was on the phone with Atlanta, New York, and India from the sunny side of this tree.

Man Bites Dog

Barking and chasing are terrifying. When this yappy dog followed me, I was not immune. I picked up and kicked harder. There's no telling what a dog would do if he catches the mailman, and I'm not staying to find out. He put on a chase of a five or six houses along a busy street. This resilience confirmed my good choice to ride harder.

This morning I passed the opposite direction. This means that the dog had to cross into traffic to give chase. And he did. The poor thing chased me from across several lanes of busy morning traffic. Like a child, he realized in the middle of the road that he was actually IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD. He retreated towards his house, and I was relieved. 

And then I heard the sound of small dog impacting a blue sedan and then yelping. The small dog scurried away from the stopped vehicle and towards a house.

I went back to check on my foe. Beer bottles, a broken dresser, and an empty/open dog crate on the porch. No car. I called out for the owner or the dog. The response was from a much larger dog chained up in the back. 

I quickly left and called Animal Protection Services to check on the welfare of the dog. I'm trying not to feel guilty, but it was an awful encounter. 

Day 1 trial of the jersey

Walking out the door, my co-worker makes a “Your mom” joke. (minus 1)

But man, it feels super great. (plus 1)

And the weather is perfect! (plus 2)

I left a little before 5, the worst possible time to try to get home. The sun is at an angle, and the roads are at their peak. (potential… how does that score?)

Usually, it is a harrowing feat to cross US70. Today, traffic stopped for me and let me thru to the turn lane. (plus 1)

I didn’t get a single honk, even for my #boobs … Which is weird. (plus 5)

Calling it a win.

What dream shall we live today?

In this moment I'm imagining the next version of me. This is me getting good with me.

It is tough to keep breathing calmly. Lots of things surface with change and growth. Lots of them hurt.

Ben Folds says - I'm going to make the best imitation of myself.

I spent the last 3 days on a pirate ship with my best friend, little guitars, incredible food, crushing laughter, heart break, soft silence, blinding light, and me.

Coming home was jarring. I want to do and see and be! What dream shall we live today?

Happy Song

I love people. This is Joseph the Pirate. He's a good dude. Besides his talents at boat building, songwriting and being an all around crafty guy, he's dating my BFF. The other night, he sang us this song. It feels like a hug. 

I am someone's Mom

I've written a lot about the aggression I experience from people who drive cars. When we are sitting in a cafe at breakfast, it is a way less hostile exchange. Less dangerous. All around, just a better time.

I had this idea that if I wore a jersey with the word "MOM" on the back, maybe people driving the cars around me would be less... awful? nasty? dangerous?

I pay taxes and I have a job. I'm a mom and I volunteer. I shouldn't have to claim my place in society just to have this space of road. I have to get tow work. I would otherwise be using this same space with a car.

And then Rachel, one of my most beloved soul sisters, made me this.

http://ift.tt/20fitKw

So many Tattoo choices. So little time.

Mental Images

I joke about it... But then it happens. I set out on the commute thinking how light the pedals felt -- how good it felt to take up space and be with me. I'm about a mile down the road of happiness when it dawns on me that I left my bag at home. And my hands are really cold.

Round tripped back to the car. Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on my mood, my bizoys don't clean up after themselves. There was one of each of their gloves for the ride to work. They were even  left and right matched.

Must be this tall to ride

My objective is not to "make it" bigger than life. I am happy when people let me do what I do without getting all mad about it. I don't need a slushy to the face, or to have to stop and make way for a faster passing vehicle. I just want to get along with my getting along.

I don't have a smooth segue to this, but I am enjoying a blog, Must Be This Tall To Ride. I don't quit at things and I'm not trying to interrupt the happiness of others. However, I am single. Like this guy, I'm looking at my own mistakes and trying to do better. I just want to get along with my getting along.

Ice Bike

I woke up Sunday feeling I’d just been released from a tether on a spacecraft. For a while, I was getting towed along by a foreign, unknown craft. Now, I’ve been cut off into space. Who am I? What do I want to do? What is worth my time to do?

Getting out of the house was a necessity, but I didn’t want to drive. I wanted to play and be part of the snowy landscape! I don’t have an ice bike, I have a mountain bike. So that’s what I rode. It took a few falls before I got comfortable with biking like I’m skiing. One big spill almost broke my spirit for the whole idea.

I managed to get to where I was going – yoga & a hot tub. These are numbers 2 & 3 on my favorites list. I ran into some friends from my cycling team at yoga and we all laughed about how I ride my bike everywhere. Over lunch, they convinced me to commit to a couple of triathlons at locations where I love to camp. 

I showed them OUR NEW JERSEYS.

This is what made my day – they got it. When I get on my bike – I am someone. I am me, and this is how I like to be. I am someone’s MOM. I am someone’s PERSON. I just happen to ride a bike.

Coworkers

I have a great job. The work is interesting, sure. My co-workers are the really great thing about my job. They just totally get me.

He: Did you see somebody won that big jackpot lottery?

Me: Yea, they were set up in front of the Publix in Melbourne all broadcasting live. (Read that in your best TV presenter voice)

He: So ridiculous.

Me: I got pulled over on my bike right near that Publix once.

He: Did you have your chainsaw again or were you just being your normal bike-on-the-road-annoying?

Me: Oh man! That house with the dog chain has a new German Shepherd. No less scary.

He: Did you get a picture?

Me: It was so cold my phone battery froze.

He: Yea. I drive a car.

Are you self-motivated?

When you join this gym, they want to love the experience. It makes sense because it's the best way to get more of your money. They sit down with you and talk about your goals. I picked a trainer that cycles thinking I was looking for cycling training. She asked me about my food, my kids, my routine, etc.

The interview question which amused me was "Do you need encouragement or are you self-motivated?"

As we talked, I realized that I'm not really looking for training. I just love the hot tub.

Weather for your gear

29 degrees but I don't want to wear and carry special bike- and weather- specific gear. Here's to my new wool turtleneck sweater.